Where I was 2013

This year was a busy year.  I got used to working again.  I started to feel like a nurse.  I started to run - and I kept on running.

In March I had a lovely day with blogging friends, and Kristina gave us all handmade socks!

My parents and I took the children to the Cutty Sark over the Easter holidays

I knitted socks that matched my surgical textbook

In June I had a picnic in Victoria Park with some nursing friends

In August we went to see my parents in France, and I spent most of the time dozing in the hammock

I won some new running shoes!

I knitted some pink socks - started in the spring, finished in the autumn

Still running - I bought myself a running skirt and some fancy socks

Walking to university for lectures in October

Graham and I do parkrun every Saturday morning.  In almost-matching blue shoes.

A morning on the sofa after a long shift the day before

November leaves in London

Excellent, forgotten tights - found at the back of my sock drawer

Heading into university for the last time this year - to hand in my second year portfolio right before Christmas

Seasonal tights!

It was a good year.  A year of consolidation rather than new beginnings.  I tried to keep family life more or less the same, and incorporate work and study into it rather than let nursing dominate everything.  I didn't always manage it but it got easier as the year wore on.

It has been a peaceful but productive year, which is how I like it.

Ending the year in Norfolk with my brother's family

New Year's Eve beach walk in Norfolk

I ended the year with my brother and his family, who we don't get to see very often, in Norfolk.  We walked along sandy beaches under the vast empty skies, chatted, laughed, and eased into each other's company.  It was a perfect end to the year - with family... outdoors...relaxed.  Just how I like it. 

Graham and Cam - the same height now

Happy New Year!

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See all the previous Where I was posts here:
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012

A new view

I've worked or studied in the City of London for over seventeen years, and it's one of my very favourite parts of London.  At once medieval and futuristic; both ruthlessly commercial and sweetly charming, there is a buzz about the City that I am still drawn to.  I feel at home there.  And happily for me, the City is also home to the oldest hospital in the world - St Bartholomew's, which is an incredible 890 years old - so I may yet get to work in the City again.

I used to spend my lunch hours happily prowling around the little lanes and quirky corners of the City; I didn't think there was much more left for me to discover.  But of course that couldn't be true.  On Wednesday, my friend Sarah and I walked back to St Paul's station together after a mid-placement review session at the University, and because we were still talking and didn't want to go home yet we did some window shopping, still chatting away and enjoying each other's company.  We found ourselves in 1 New Change, the luxury shopping centre that is all glass and posh carrier bags, and suddenly felt every inch the impoverished middle-aged nursing students that we were.  "Let's go up to the roof terrace," said Sarah, "it's free."

The lift doors opened and I stepped out to the most breathtaking view over the City skyline, with the sun setting behind St Paul's dome right in front of me.

We had a magnificent view of the new Shard too, as well as other favourites of mine such as the Eye, Battersea Power Station and the Royal Courts of Justice.  Sarah and I pointed out to each other buildings we'd worked in, or buildings we'd visited, and every few minutes I just had to turn around and take another photo of the sky and St Paul's.  I could even lean over the parapet and look over onto the roof of St Bart's.  

It's not often that you get the chance to see somewhere you're so familiar with from a completely different perspective.  The wide skies, the familiar buildings, the striped wispy clouds, the chill winter air...all made me very happy indeed.

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My friend Matthew camped on this same roof terrace not so long ago - you can read an abridged account of his night  here.

These are a few of my favourite things

In this final week before University begins again, I've managed to fit in an energetic end-of-summer visit to Kew Gardens, and a long anticipated trip to the British Museum to see the magnificent Life and Death in Pompeii and Hurculaneum exhibition.  Flowers, pumpkins, a tessalated glass roof, ancient artefacts and good friends - some of my very favourite things.

And now I am rubbing handcream into my hands, in anticipation of going back to University next week.  A nurse's hands are very dry and sore from all the handwashing and disinfectant alcohol handrub they have to endure, but mine have recovered somewhat over this long, lazy summer holiday.

I've done what reading I can, found a new notebook and printed off my timetable.  I've been baking every day and have filled the freezer with muffins and loaves of bread in anticipation of days when there's nothing for breakfast and I haven't even got the time or energy to eat a slice of soda bread, never mind bake one.  I can't believe it was a whole year ago that I started my course.  I've loved and needed the summer off, but I'm so pleased to be going back now.  

Along with going back to University, comes commuting once again, and therefore the return of sock knitting, which I can stuff into my bag and do on the tube.  I am obsessed with sock knittingat the moment, and I have come to realise that it is a cyclical enthusiasm - as soon as it is cool enough to wear hand knitted socks again, I remember how wonderful they are and feel compelled to knit more.  Stay tuned for sock updates!

Well looked after

Friends old and new came out to the pub with me and we laughed, chatted and drank for hours.  Olivia drew me pictures and baked me a cake.  Cam let me have control over the TV remote so I could watch endless Glastonbury and athletics. My Mum and Dad phoned me at breakfast time for a chat.  Graham roasted a chicken and baked pommes dauphinoise.  The sun even shone for me.  It has been a great birthday weekend, and I have been very well looked after.
   

Friendship circles

On Friday afternoon I sat in the pub with my new nursing friends, drinking wine, swapping stories and laughing.  Every single one of the female nurses had painted her nails to celebrate the end of our first placement.  There were almost all the colours of the rainbow around that table.

On Saturday I met up with some blogging friends, who have become real-life friends over the past few years.  These ladies make me laugh and nod my head in agreement at almost everything they say.  Blogging ladies aren't shy about taking photographs, so I came away with a camera full of pictures and a tummy full of cake and coffee.  I also had a wonderful present of some little spring knits from Julie.  The nest and eggs matched my dress, which made me ridiculously happy.

A circular handknitted nest and eggs, from Julie

On Saturday evening I went to Hackney to catch up with old friends in the pub. We chatted, and people-watched, and felt like we'd lived in East London a long time (we have).  Beards and poets in a pub by the Pembury Estate - goodness me, how times are changing.

Today I napped in the sunshine, chatted to Graham and the children and walked round to my sister-in-law's house with two loads of clothes to wash, because our washing machine is broken.  She made me a cup of tea, and I sat on her sofa, cuddled my baby niece and chatted to my little nephew while the school uniform was cleaned.

One of the very nicest things about being middle aged are these multiple circles of friends you acquire.  They evolve out of jobs, children, family, University, and an unusual obsession with handknitted socks.  But however you find them, friends really are the best thing.

A circle of socks - the blogging ladies show off their new socks (made for us by Kristina, who is amazing)

 

The ultimate circular birthday cake, made - and styled - by Mrs M

Where I was - 2012

How can a year be so wonderful and so hard all at once?  That was 2012.

I started the year at home, going for walks in my usual favourite haunts - Epping Forest, Kew Gardens, Mum and Dad's house in France, the streets of London.

At Kew Gardens

 

In Epping Forest

 

Hiking in France

 

Life ticked along.

Waiting for the tube - reading my Kindle

Then in June I decided to see if I might be able to apply for a place at University in 2013 to do a post-graduate nursing degree, despite my lack of any science A-levels.  I took Olivia with me to the summer Open Day, and thought to myself there's no harm in finding out. 

By the end of the day I'd had a first interview (with Olivia sitting by my side - solemnly reading her Beano) and had been given a date for my second interview.  Two weeks later I had my offer - for 2012, not 2013.  What I thought might take a year to sort out, took just a fortnight.

Olivia reading her Beano , as we waited for a lecture on student finance at City University

In August the sportsmen came to town, and we all went to the Olympic Stadium.  Cam went as a performer too.

In the Olympic Park with flags - Cam and me

In September I started University for the second time and became a student nurse - the best, most overwhelming, most interesting thing I've done in my adult life.  So many injections, so much work, so many biology workbooks, so many flasks of coffee, so many hours referencing essays.

At West Smithfield - on my way home from the Health Sciences library

 

First day at university - lunch, a bottle of water and coffee

In December I left the comfort of the campus behind and started my first placement - working long shifts in a large London hospital.  On my first day, as I walked to the tube along dark, cold streets at 6am, I thought to myself 'this is the single most scary thing I've ever done in my life'.

An early morning walk for me and Graham - late November

And before I knew it, it was Christmas.  Two people in the family were very poorly and I was reeling with exhaustion.  I've spent the last few days feeling thankful:

• for lovely, long-limbed children, who are kind and who make me laugh
• for my own health - I've learnt this autumn and winter that you can't take health for granted
• for friends who let me doze on their sofa, and forgive me when I don't write and forget to post their Christmas presents
• for corner shops that sell Green and Blacks and decent cheap wine
• for the doctors and nurses who looked after my own loved ones so well - I hope other people might think the same of me one day.

Dad and Graham - in France, Easter 2012

Me and Nigel Slater - New Year's Eve 2012

Along the way there were also two new nieces, a second hip replacement operation for my Mum, the arrival of a slow cooker and the departure of the bread machine, a bit of journalism, plenty of sewing, quite a bit of knitting and numerous cakes.  Olivia took up the French Horn and Cam became a teenager.  I don't think there'll ever be another year like it for testing me, challenging me and rewarding me.

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Where I was in previous years:
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007

The force of goodwill

Today is my last ever day of being a stay-at-home Mum.  Almost exactly three years ago I left my job as an accountant in the City; although I didn't know what I was going to do next, I suspected that I wouldn't ever go back to accountancy or banking.

I was right, because on Monday I start a whole new life as a full-time student nurse.  The impact this change will have on the whole family is enormous.  Olivia will no longer have me waiting for her at the school gates, and reminding her to go back and get her lunchbox/horn/coat/homework; Cam will no longer have me putting the kettle on for a cup of tea for him when he gets in from school or from a friend's house; Graham will no longer have someone willing to wash yesterday's stinky running kit at a moment's notice.  Instead, everyone else will be joining in with the cooking, cleaning, tidying and looking after the hens.  Once I've tested Cam on his French vocab, he will have to test me on my biology in return.  Graham will have to listen to me discuss essay plans rather than sewing plans.

The change for me is, of course, enormous too.  I will have to get better at delegating jobs around the house to others (the hardest one will be delegating the supermarket shopping to an online service, because I really love doing the supermarket shop), and I will have to be ruthless at carving out study time for myself.  I won't be able to go to any more class assemblies at school, and appointments for the hairdresser, optician, orthodontist or gas man will all have to be squeezed into the weekends.

But despite this impending domestic earthquake I am not stressed, nervous or doubtful - just incredibly excited and full of anticipation.  This is mainly because there has been an overwhelming surge of goodwill and incredible support for what I am doing - from everybody: friends, family and complete strangers.

The Ladybird book of nurses - a present from Tess

So many of the mothers at school have offered to pick up or look after Olivia for me - "If there is anything I can do to help just let me know!" has been the generous phrase I've heard most frequently since term started.  It's so reassuring to feel that there is an army of mothers behind me, whom I can call on if there is a childcare crisis (and of course there will be - and of course at the most inconvenient times, like when I have to be in University for an exam by 9am).

A wonderful handmade card from Gill

 

Friends and family have been delighted for me and have sent me so many sweet cards and presents and offers of childcare.  Each week this summer the postman has brought me new surprises - the most recent one was yesterday from my dear friend Janine who is embarking on her own new beginning this autumn.
 

Alpaca yarn - a present from Janine

My new basket - a present from my parents

So many blog readers, many of whom I've never even met, have sent me touching emails and comments expressing their support and delight - frequently letting me know about their own experiences of nursing.  Thank you all - it truly does mean so much to me.

This force of goodwill has been overwhelming and very moving.  It means that I leave behind the domestic world of a stay-at-home Mum with very little sadness or regret, even though I have loved (almost) every minute of it.  What comes next for me is even more exciting.

Endings and beginnings

A green and pleasant land

Yesterday I went back to Oxfordshire, to the village where I grew up, for the funeral of an amazing and much loved man.  Jack had lived a long and full life, teaching so much to everyone he met over the years, and the day had much laughter and reminiscing as well as tears and sadness that Jack was no longer with us.

I met childhood friends whom I'd not seen for decades, was hugged and kissed by people who'd known me since I was at primary school, and generally felt very loved all day.  It marked the end of an era, because Jack had just always been there.  He was a great age when he died and we all knew that the day would come when he was no longer with us, but it was still hard to take in yesterday.  He had been at the centre of the village and the community for as long as anyone could remember. 

But endings always come with beginnings and yesterday also marked a very important beginning for me.  I found out, just a few hours before I drove to Oxfordshire, that I have a place at University for this September.  I will be going to City University, in central London, to train as a nurse.  After three years at home with the children, and many more years before that working as an accountant in the City, this is a completely new beginning for me, and one that I am incredibly excited about.

It's official

I have recently started a voluntary job at my local hospital as a helper on the wards - I serve lunch, chat to patients and help them with small tasks such as fetching them books to read from the hospital library, pouring them drinks, chopping up food and propping them up with pillows.  I am based, at the moment, on a general ward for elderly women, and some of them are very frail indeed.

After the funeral yesterday I chatted with some of the people who had helped to look after Jack in his last few weeks.  They told me what I have seen for myself at my local hospital - gentle kindness from nurses means so much to people who are at the end of their life, and to their families too.  The best nurses are the ones who remember that little gestures can have a big impact.

I will try to remember that as I return to the whirl of study, travel, work and childcare juggling in September; Jack's still going to be teaching me things.