Confidence

I always laugh at the TV adverts which tell you that their product "gives you confidence". Usually the product is connected to bodily functions in some way: deodorant, good-bacteria yogurt, toothpaste or cracked heel balm. And these adverts make me laugh because they do the absolute opposite of give you confidence. They give you anxiety, and then helpfully suggest that you could get rid of the anxiety they've just given you by buying their product.

Last week, after dithering all summer, I bought myself a bicycle.

The dithering had been over whether I could use it to cycle to work (is it too far? will I arrive too hot and sweaty? how will I find my way through Hackney? can I get to work quickly enough?). Then one day at work last week, I found I'd just had enough of my own anxious whining. So I went to the bike shop when I left the office for the evening and bought myself a bike. Just like that. No messing.

I bought a helmet, some locks and lights and a bright fluorescent waistcoat too, got on the bike and steered my way out into the evening rush hour traffic through the City. That, my friends, is confidence!

I've never cycled in London before, and I always get lost going through Hackney, but I wasn't fazed. Just utterly fearless, full of confidence, zooming up Kingsland Road in my geeky high-vis jacket with the evening breeze ruffling my hair ( zooming might be exaggerating a little...). I didn't miss any turnings, I didn't have to get off and push up any hills, I even cycled round a huge roundabout, alongside a double-decker bus, without mishap.

I arrived home rather weary, but on such a high, and full of confidence to do it again when I'm at work next week.

Oh, and the other illustration of my confidence? Putting up these photos of me in ridiculous bike clothing and squinting at the sun. I must be mad!