Messy desk - a snapshot

On my messy desk this morning:

• the milk bill
• a letter from Olivia's school about a summer picnic
• a free cup of coffee from Waitrose - thank you Waitrose
• three unopened magazines
• this week's Nursing Standard
• a leaflet about pelvic radiotherapy in men
• unexpected Amazon parcels, which I think may contain birthday presents
• a new cookbook
• a textbook on acute and critical care nursing
• my Kindle - I need to load it up with more things to read later; I've just finished this book, which was a good recommendation from my father
• keys and glasses
• fabric for another dress
• a freshly baked croissant in a paper bag (my breakfast, along with the coffee)

It is my day off today.  After I've tidied my desk I plan to sit in the garden and read the backlog of magazines and my new cookbook. 

10 things

The nice thing about getting an exciting new job in ITU, is that nothing really changes:

• I made a new top.  It was meant to be a dress, but I failed to adjust for the fact that I am much taller than most Japanese women.

• I love it though, and have bought more fabric so I can make myself a dress version.

• I discovered that the best place to take a full legth photo of myself without balancing on the arm of a sofa or having to tidy an entire room first, is the changing room at work. 

• Basil is back in the kitchen - I run my hands through it when I stand at the sink.

• I like these tiles at Aldgate station.

• Graham is listening to James Brown and treating us all to funk.

• I have been running - but not enough.  I miss it.

• I baked brioche rolls, and Graham made a tarte au citron. 

• The washing machine couldn't read the label that said the pillow was washable.

• When it's sunny, and I am not at work, I cycle over to the Olympic park with a quilt and sunbathe.    

A new identity

A few weeks ago I was offered my first nursing job - and last week, after much dithering, I accepted it.  At the end of this year I will become a registered nurse, and then I will be working on the ITU at my local hospital.  ITU stands for Intensive Therapy Unit and is what used to be known as Intensive Care - it is where the very sickest patients are cared for, and each patient gets one-to-one nursing care, 24 hours a day.  I have so many emotions whirling around my head about this new job:

• pride - I've got a great job, in a specialism I desperately wanted to work in
• fear - I'm going to be a qualified nurse, responsible for the care of very poorly patients
• excitement - I'm going to be a qualified nurse, responsible for the care of very poorly patients
• motivation - I need to revise all my knowledge of acute nursing care, and learn so much more
• eagerness - I want to start now
• sartorial disappointment - I will be wearing scrubs rather than a traditional nursing uniform
• nervousness - can we put the brakes on, please? I've loved being back at University.

But mainly, with the knowledge that I have a good job waiting for me at the end of the year, I have relaxed and started to enjoy myself more.  I have always enjoyed nursing and been certain that this was what I wanted to do, but there has also been an underlying tension - could I really do this?  could I be good at this?  what effect was my change in career having on the family?  I was surprised to find that this tension disappeared when I finally sent the email to accept the job.

"Yes, I have a job in ITU," I tell people.  I'm getting used to saying it.  I have a new identity.  In my head I say to myself "I am an ITU nurse" - trying it out for size - and it feels right.