- pride - I've got a great job, in a specialism I desperately wanted to work in
- fear - I'm going to be a qualified nurse, responsible for the care of very poorly patients
- excitement - I'm going to be a qualified nurse, responsible for the care of very poorly patients
- motivation - I need to revise all my knowledge of acute nursing care, and learn so much more
- eagerness - I want to start now
- sartorial disappointment - I will be wearing scrubs rather than a traditional nursing uniform
- nervousness - can we put the brakes on, please? I've loved being back at University.
But mainly, with the knowledge that I have a good job waiting for me at the end of the year, I have relaxed and started to enjoy myself more. I have always enjoyed nursing and been certain that this was what I wanted to do, but there has also been an underlying tension - could I really do this? could I be good at this? what effect was my change in career having on the family? I was surprised to find that this tension disappeared when I finally sent the email to accept the job.
"Yes, I have a job in ITU," I tell people. I'm getting used to saying it. I have a new identity. In my head I say to myself "I am an ITU nurse" - trying it out for size - and it feels right.